Season One

Season One of LTW
Season One was first posted on the Warriors and Seekers Official Message Board on September 1, 2010.

Epicsode One: Leopardstar
A black she-cat with one white ear and a golden ginger tabby she-cat introduce themselves as Jadepool and Hawkwing. They say that they are going to do a spoof on the Warriors series by Erin Hunter, and Jadepool asks if Hawkwing has a dare, calling her "Hawkie." Hawkwing gets mad and threatens her companian by requesting her to remeber what happened last time, and Jadepool responds by saying that she hadn't needed to do that to Kestrelflight, the WindClan medicine cat. Hawkwing then prostests, saying her defense: "But the bananas and firecrackers were right there! You know how blowy-uppy I get when I'm mad."

Jadepool reminds Hawkwing that they have a job to do. Hawkwing pulls a dare out of her awesome brain (aka taking off the top of her head and removing a dare from the abyss below) and announces that it is for Leopardstar, the RiverClan leader. Leopardstar falls through the ceiling, proclaiming that "This isn't the river!" Hawkwing explains that she is on TV, at which Leopardstar has a fit of excitment.

Hawkwing shows Leopardstar her dare and the leader refuses to do it. However, when Jadepool threatens to cut her show and move to Breezepelt's, Leopardstar relents. There is a time-skip to the next Gathering, at which Leopardstar declares: "I HAVE MASTERED THE USE OF THE POTTY!"

She then explodes. Jadepool turned to Hawkwing and yells that she hasn't installed a boom button yet. In response, Hawkwing blows on her remote like a smoking gun. Jadepool sighs and says that she has to go buy a revive button. The team sign off, and Epicsode One ends.

Epicsode Two: Breezepelt
The show begins with Jadepool and Hawkwing acknowledging that they should have a punishment for vict- er, that is guests- who do not follow their instructions. They say that they have asked a friend to do the honors, but that she's running a little late, and that the show must continue.

Breezepelt, a WindClan tom, falls out of the ceiling. When he asks where he is, Hawkwing replies: "You're at the national department of gulliblity. IN CANADA." Breezepelt's combined dare is that he has to go up to each of the original Three (Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather) and tell them that they are the best family members ever while wearing a bikini; AND kiss Jayfeather on the lips and say he is the king of awesomeness.

Breezepelt grudgingly does the dare to Lionblaze, who believes that Jayfeather is playing a practical joke on him. He then proceeds to talk to Hollyleaf, who then screams, "GAH! THE SWIMSUIT! THE BREEZEPELT! IT BUUUUUURNS!!!" When he refuses to tell Jayfeather that he's amazing and kiss him, he is teleported back to the studio to MEET HIS DOOM.

There, Blueblood is introduced. She is a vicious, blue-loving, gray-hating, blue tabby she-cat with anger issues. When she discovers Breezepelt is not blue, she goes into a killing rage and destroyss Breezepelt, leaving a happy ending for this Epicsode.

Epicsode Three: Nightcloud VS Leafpool
We start with Hawkwing confessing that Eaglepaw, her younger brother, broke through security and is coming down the hall to destroy them. Jadepool blows a fuse, and then Eaglepaw arrives. He bugs Hawkwing, then Jadepool interrupts him by announcing the next dare will be for Leafpool and Nightcloud to 'talk it out' in a locked room. Jadepool leaves the studio to fetch the she-cats and Hawkwing goes to prepare the Arena.

When Jadepool returns, Hawkwing has decorated the Arena. Jadepool exclaims: "Hawkwing, you told me you were preparing the arena. You put out air mattresses, posters of Invader Zim, spilled coke and mentos EVERYWHERE, and who's that ninja over there?" The ninja is introduced as 'Master Muffintops,' and then vanishes. Jadepool then procedes to introduce the she-cats, but before she can, Hawkwing interrupts. She says that introductions are her job, not Jadepool's. Jadepool whips out something and says that she has the remote.

After a short sissy fight, Eaglepaw breaks up the fight and says that he has the remot and will use it to "pop Nightcloud on your head." Hawkwing threatans to pull Leopardstar out of her arm, but Eaglepa remains unfazed. Then she demands Eaglepaw to hand it over, to which he shouts, "Na-na-na-boo-boo! You can't catch me!" Hawkwing swears on the name of what once was Longtail's eye that Eaglepaw is the most annoyinng cat ever. Jadepool then amends her, saying that Icecloud drives her beserk, acting like a goody-two-shoes.

A cat in the audience yells, "What are shoes?" to which Jadepool replies that they are paw-covers, "Available for only three mouse tails at you local Retail store!" Berrynose bursts in and shouts that he wants a purple tail with green polka-dots. Jadepool shoves him out the door, as he says that he trusts the magic squirrel to guide him home.

Jadepool then threatans to pry the remote out of Eaglepaw's "dirty, evil, chocolate covered paws." Eaglepaw admits that he didn't actually steal the remote, and when Jadepool asks who did, the bunny that clawed out Longtail's eyes appears. Bunny says that he stole the remote, and is here to add a dramatic ending to the show. He announces that he is Berrynose's father, to which Berrynose asks, "You are?" Bunny then says, "No, the elephant told me to say that." Berrynose complains that his life has been ruined and leaves officially.

The bunny then remebers that he's in the wrong studio. Jadepool swipes the remote, and the bunny explodes, saying that he will add a dramatic ending to the show. Hawkwing introduces Nightcloud and Leafpool while Jadepool pushes the button. Leafpool and Nightcloud are shoved in the Arena. Leafpool, the emo kitty, attempts to make peace, but Nightcloud, the over-protective kitty, attacks Leafpool, screaming, "Your mother is a *BEEEEEEP* an *BEEEEEEEEEP* Thistleclaw *BEEEEEEEEEP* amine BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* ShadowClan *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* hippopotamus *BEEEEEEEEEEEEP* republican *BEEEEEEEEEEP* ing Edward Cullen *BEEEEEEEEEP* with a bucket of *BEEEEEEEEEEP* in a cave far away where no one can here you *BEEEEEEEP* soup *BEEEEEEEEEEEP* with a bucket of *BEEEEEEEEEEEEP* Mickey mouse *BEEEEEEEEEP* stick of dynamite *BEEEEEEEEEEP* Mousewhisker *BEEEEEEP* ALAKAZAM!"

Mr. Bunny appears again and says that he is, in fact Jadepool's father, and the studio explodes into a mushroom cloud shaped like a bunny, signaling an end to the show.

Epicsode Four: Darefest
We begin with Jadepool introducing herself, saying "I’m Jadepool; which you should know by now unless you’re blind." Hawkwing then cheerfully shouts that she's a taquito, to which Jadepool breaks it to her by saying that she's not. Hawkwing is disappointed, but soon gets back to her usual self. Japepool then anounces that the epicsode is a dare-fest, which a bunch of dare for many different cats. Hawkwing throws a disco ball over the island and tells the clans its a gathering and to get over there and talk about stuff nobody cares about. Onestar begins to speak but is interupted by Tigerstar and the Dark Forrest cats. Rowanclaw screams like a girl that he genericly is and jumps into the lake. Mistystar asks Tigerstar what he wants and replies that he only wants permission to speak. He then rickrolls the clans laughs that his latest plan was a success. Brambleclaw then is happy because Firestar died listening to the myusic and he is now leader. All of the other cats at the gathering then call his new name.

Jadepool then says that the dare that she had planned wasn't going to work out, because it involves Firestar who is dead. Hawkwing than reaches inside the magic Starclan portal and pulls out every cat in Starclan and other junk until finding Firestar. She than summons Onestar in a bunny suit. Onestar asks what was with them and bunnies. Hawkwing says the button wasn't working right because she wanted him to come out as a kangaroo or a porcupine.Onestar goes up to Firestar and asks to give him something. Firestar tells Onestar that he lost all of his coolness in Twilight. He asks if it was in the book twight or when he started reading Spephanie Meyer. Firestar replies "Both." Onestar then hands him a bouquet of waffles and tells Firestar he loves him. Firestar then yells " OHMYSTARCLANWTDFOMSCWTDFBBQOHMYCHOCOLATEOHHH..." and dies. Hawkwings says that he died so hard, he came back to life. When Jadepool asks how that makes sence, Hawkwing replies "pie". Jadepool says that makes SOOOO much more sence.

The show then goes live to Thunderclan, where there secret camera man Thornclaw was. He asks how much he was getting paid for this, and Hawkwing replies he is getting paid big monies. Jadepool tells him to be quiet and to their bidding, and that he is the super secret ninja spy guy. Thornclaw that sing s that he is the super secret ninja spy guy who can fly. Jadepool, Hawkwing, and Onestar then start rhyming. Jadepool asks Onestar why he is still here. He replies that he dosn't know how to leave. Jadepool tells him that he can stay until the showa over. They then return to the dare. Dovepaw tells Ivypaw to stop eating her foot and slaps her. She then walks awy with her head held high. Five minutes later, Dovepaw asks if her wittle sister is okay. Ivypaw then yells at Dovepaw for slapping her. Dovepaw says not to turn this into the Jersey Shore. Ivypaw then swallows Dovepaw. Dovepaw asks what she has been eating, and she replies "garlic, elephants and ShadowClan cats." The sisters then relize that Thornclaw was fliming them, and beat him up. Jadepool and Hawkwing then close the show